Look At All Those Monkeys! By Spike Milligan

Look At All Those Monkeys! Look at all those monkeys Jumping in their cage. Why don’t they all go out to work And earn a…

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Eurolove By Spike Milligan

Eurolove I cannot and I will not No, I cannot love you less Like the flower to the butterfly The corsage to the dress She…

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Summer Dawn By Spike Milligan

Summer Dawn My sleeping children are still flying dreams in their goose-down heads. The lush of the river singing morning songs Fish watch their ceilings…

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Me By Spike Milligan

Me Born screaming small into this world- Living I am. Occupational therapy twixt birth and death- What was I before? What will I be next?…

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Welcome Home By Spike Milligan

Welcome Home Unaware of my crime they stood me in the dock. I was sentenced to life…. without her. Strange trial. No judge. No jury….

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Feelings By Spike Milligan

Feelings There must be a wound! No one can be this hurt and not bleed. How could she injure me so? No marks No bruise…

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Two Children By Spike Milligan

Two Children Two children (small), one Four, one Five, Once saw a bee go in a hive, They’d never seen a bee before! So waited…

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Mirror, Mirror By Spike Milligan

Mirror, Mirror A young spring-tender girl combed her joyous hair ‘You are very ugly’ said the mirror. But, on her lips hung a smile of…

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Unto Us… By Spike Milligan

Unto Us… Somewhere at some time They committed themselves to me And so, I was! Small, but I WAS! Tiny, in shape Lusting to live…

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Granny By Spike Milligan

Granny Through every nook and every cranny The wind blew in on poor old Granny Around her knees, into each ear (And up nose as…

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Standing Room Only By Spike Milligan

Standing Room Only This population explosion Said Peter to St. Paul Is really getting far too much Just look at the crowd in the hall….

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Letters By Spike Milligan

Letters I was thinking of letters, We all have a lot in our life A few good – a few sad But mostly run of…

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Values 67 By Spike Milligan

Values 67 Pass by citizen don’t look left or right Keep those drip dry eyes straight ahead A tree? Chop it down- it’s a danger…

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Emptiness By Spike Milligan

Emptiness I’ve learned mine can’t be filled, only alchemized. Many times it’s become a paragraph or a page. But usually I’ve hidden it, not knowing…

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Scorflufus By Spike Milligan

Scorflufus There are many diseases, That strike people’s kneeses, Scorflufus! is one by name It comes from the East Packed in bladders of yeast So…

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Jumbo Jet By Spike Milligan

Jumbo Jet I saw a little elephant standing in my garden, I said ‘You don’t belong in here’, he said ‘I beg you pardon?’, I…

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Unto Us By Spike Milligan

Unto Us Somewhere at some time They committed themselves to me And so, I was! Small, but I WAS! Tiny, in shape Lusting to live…

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Contagion By Spike Milligan

Contagion Elephants are contagious! Be careful how you tread. An Elephant that’s been trodden on Should be confined to bed! Leopards are contagious too. Be…

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Soldier Freddy By Spike Milligan

Soldier Freddy Soldier Freddy was never ready, But! Soldier Neddy, unlike Freddy Was always ready and steady, That’s why, When Soldier Neddy Is-outside-Buckingham-Palace-on-guard-in -the-pouring-wind-and-rain-being-steady-and-ready ,…

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Indian Boyhood By Spike Milligan

Indian Boyhood What happened to the boy I was? Why did he run away? And leave me old and thinking, like There’d been no yesterday?…

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When I Suspected By Spike Milligan

When I Suspected There will be a time when it will end. Be it parting Be it death So each passing minute with you Pendulummed…

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Bongaloo By Spike Milligan

Bongaloo ‘What is a Bongaloo, Daddy?’ ‘A Bongaloo, Son,’ said I, ‘Is a tall bag of cheese Plus a Chinaman’s knees And the leg of…

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Philip Le Barr By Spike Milligan

Philip Le Barr Philip Le Barr, Was knock down by a car, On the road to Mandalay. He was knocked down again By a dust…

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I’m Walking Backwards For Christmas By Spike Milligan

I’M Walking Backwards For Christmas I’m walking backwards for Christmas, Across the Irish Sea, I’m walking backwards for Christmas, It’s the only thing for me….

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Values ’67 By Spike Milligan

Values ’67 Pass by citizen don’t look left or right Keep those drip dry eyes straight ahead A tree? Chop it down- it’s a danger…

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Why By Spike Milligan

Why American Detectives Never remove their hats When investigating murders In other people’s flats. P.S. Chinese Tecs Are far more dreaded! And they always appear…

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Porridge By Spike Milligan

Porridge Why is there no monument To Porridge in our land? It it’s good enough to eat, It’s good enough to stand! On a plinth…

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In The Land Of The Bumbley Boo By Spike Milligan

In The Land Of The Bumbley Boo In the land of the Bumbley Boo The People are red white and blue, They never blow noses,…

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The Soldiers At Lauro By Spike Milligan

The Soldiers At Lauro Young are our dead Like babies they lie The wombs they blest once Not healed dry And yet – too soon…

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Bazonka By Spike Milligan

Bazonka Say Bazonka every day That’s what my grandma used to say It keeps at bay the Asian Flu’ And both your elbows free from…

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On The Ning Nang Nong By Spike Milligan

On The Ning Nang Nong On the Ning Nang Nong Where the Cows go Bong! and the monkeys all say BOO! There’s a Nong Nang…

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Have A Nice Day By Spike Milligan

Have A Nice Day ‘Help, help, ‘ said a man. ‘I’m drowning.’ ‘Hang on, ‘ said a man from the shore. ‘Help, help, ‘ said…

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The Dog Lovers By Spike Milligan

The Dog Lovers So they bought you And kept you in a Very good home Cental heating TV A deep freeze A very good home-…

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Orstralia By Spike Milligan

Orstralia Orstralia – Orstralia We think of you each day Orstralia – Orstralia At work or at play. We think of yew in the morning…

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Halved By Spike Milligan

Halved The essence of true beauty Lingers in all-encompassing rainbows Of your joy and laughter You hold my hand and smile As we ensconce ourselves…

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The Abc By Spike Milligan

The Abc ‘Twas midnight in the schoolroom And every desk was shut When suddenly from the alphabet Was heard a loud “Tut-Tut!” Said A to…

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Maveric By Spike Milligan

Maveric Maveric Prowles Had Rumbling Bowles That thundered in the night. It shook the bedrooms all around And gave the folks a fright. The doctor…

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Goodbye S.S. By Spike Milligan

Goodbye S.S. Go away girl, go away and let me pack my dreams Now where did I put those yesteryears made up with broken seams…

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Teeth By Spike Milligan

Teeth English Teeth, English Teeth! Shining in the sun A part of British heritage Aye, each and every one. English Teeth, Happy Teeth! Always having…

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A Silly Poem – Spike Milligan

Said Hamlet to Ophelia, I’ll draw a sketch of thee, What kind of pencil shall I use? 2B or not 2B? ~ A Silly Poem…

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