Clarence Michael James St

Winter Rhapsody By Clarence Michael James St

Winter Rhapsody By Clarence Michael James St

Winter Rhapsody Winter has come; and tardily Now little nipping winds are rife Where laggard leaves, on many a tree, Still cling tenaciously to life. Spent Autumn with a myriad hues Had laughed at death and mocked the worm. And now bluff Winter shouts glad news Of Winter joys, which I refuse, I simp... »

Thistledown By Clarence Michael James St

Thistledown By Clarence Michael James St

Thistledown She danced thro’ life as light as thistledown, The grace of Columbine, charm of Pierette, These, and that blithesome quality of thistledown, With memory of her linger by us yet. A fairy, slipping thro’ a world material, Shaming dull men made gross thro’ mundance schemes... »

The Siren By Clarence Michael James St

The Siren By Clarence Michael James St

The Siren She sung a song; an’ I sat silent there, Wiv bofe ‘ands grippin’ ‘ard on me chair; Me ‘eart, that yesterdee I thort wus broke Wiv ‘umpin sich a ‘eavy load o’ care, Come swelling in me throat like I would choke. I felt ‘ot blushes climbi... »

The Milk Billy By Clarence Michael James St

The Milk Billy By Clarence Michael James St

The Milk Billy So nice it is of you to call . . . Yes; Monday week we done it; Right ‘igh-clarse weddin’ – church an’ all. Cost Bill a bit to run it. An’ wotjer think ‘e ups and sez First night, or thereabout? ‘Hey, Lil!’ (Lor, it give me sich a thrill... »

The Land Down-Under By Clarence Michael James St

The Land Down-Under By Clarence Michael James St

The Land Down-Under At Slumberton-on-Slow, When the rustics gather round To quaff their ale, they hear a tale That wakens doubt profound A wild, wild tale that comes by mail From Gaffer Gandy’s Joe, Who left his home long since to roam In the land of the light pink snow. And the talk goes to a... »

The Growth Of Sym By Clarence Michael James St

The Growth Of Sym By Clarence Michael James St

The Growth Of Sym Now Sym was a Glug; and ’tis mentioned so That the tale reads perfectly plain as we go. In his veins ran blood of that stupid race Of docile folk, who inhabit the place Called Gosh, sad Gosh, where the tall trees sigh With a strange, significant sort of cry When the gloaming ... »

The Eastern Shrike-Tit By Clarence Michael James St

The Eastern Shrike-Tit By Clarence Michael James St

The Eastern Shrike-Tit I am brightly alert and exceedingly pert, And my livery’s easily seen; With a bright golden breast and a black-and-white crest, And a back of indefinite green. A conspicuous bird; and, I give you my word, I am neither incautious nor shy. Native wit may be read in the coc... »

The Censor By Clarence Michael James St

The Censor By Clarence Michael James St

The Censor The Censor sits behind his desk, And smiles a censored smile; His great, blue pencil hovers o’er Some masterpiece awhile, Then swoops – oh, child of whose poor ravished brain? Coldly another innnocent is slain! The Censor is a murderer. None knows his secret lair, Nor all the ... »

The Band By Clarence Michael James St

The Band By Clarence Michael James St

The Band Hey, there! Listen awhile! Listen awhile, and come. Down in the street there are marching feet, and I hear the beat of a drum. Bim! Boom!! Out of the room! Pick up your hat and fly! Isn’t it grand? The band! The band! The band is marching by! Oh, the clarinet is the finest yet, and th... »

Sawin’ Wood By Clarence Michael James St

Sawin’ Wood By Clarence Michael James St

Sawin’ Wood I wondered wot was doin’. First I seen Ole Missus Flood wave signals to Doreen. I’m in the paddick slashin’ down some ferns; She’s comin’ up the road; an’ if she turns An ‘andspring I won’t be su’prised a bit, The way she’... »

Old Town Types No.2 – Red Matt By Clarence Michael James St

Old Town Types No.2 – Red Matt By Clarence Michael James St

Old Town Types No.2 – Red Matt He gleaned all the gossip and he gathered all the news, Mad Matt, the carrier, delivering the grub; He knew the trooper’s tattle and he knew the parson’s views, The gossip at the station-yard, the gossip at the pub. That high-pitched voice of his, the... »

My Scenario By Clarence Michael James St

My Scenario By Clarence Michael James St

My Scenario Oh, I’ve got a lovely story that I’ve thought out all myself. It will make a gorgeous picture, I am sure. (Mind, it isn’t for the money, for I am not keen on pelf, nd my attitude to Art is very pure.) It is full of real heart-int’rest, mother-love and passion rare... »

Logic And Spotted Dog By Clarence Michael James St

Logic And Spotted Dog By Clarence Michael James St

Logic And Spotted Dog ‘Unless you ‘ide that axe,’ she sez, ”E’ll ‘urt ‘imself reel bad. An’ after all – Now, Bill, don’t cry! – that trouble that I’ve ‘ad, Wiv ‘im thro’ croop an’ whoopin’ corf, ... »

Jim By Clarence Michael James St

Jim By Clarence Michael James St

Jim ‘Now, be the Hokey Fly!’ sez Peter Begg. ‘Suppose ‘e comes ‘ome with a wooden leg. Suppose ‘e isn’t fit to darnce at all, Then, ain’t we ‘asty fixin’ up this ball? A little tournament at Bridge is my Idear,’ sez Peter. ‘Be t... »

Hoch Der Hausfrau! By Clarence Michael James St

Hoch Der Hausfrau! By Clarence Michael James St

Hoch Der Hausfrau! Back to the kicthen, mein Gretchen! Back to the scullery, frau! You have dreamed your brief hour of a matriarch’s pow’r: But it’s dishes and drudgery now. Your head bent in humble submission, Your back for the masculine flail, Speak softly, and know your position... »

Gentlemen! By Clarence Michael James St

Gentlemen! By Clarence Michael James St

Gentlemen! Gentlemen! a politician, One who values his position, Stands, with easy confidence, Here before you on the fence. For he knows full well, good friends, All your aims and all your ends; And that these you may attain He will strive with might and main. Gentlemen! my sole ambition Is to see ... »

‘Eats’ By Clarence Michael James St

‘Eats’ By Clarence Michael James St

‘Eats’ When Willie gets a penny piece Straight to the lollie-shop he flies, And, heartened by his wealth’s increase, Reviews the stock with bulging eyes. And so it is thro’ all our lives, Till Death declares the tale complete; Man ever toils and yearns and strives With eyes o... »

Country Roads ~ Pretty Sally By Clarence Michael James St

Country Roads ~ Pretty Sally By Clarence Michael James St

Country Roads ~ Pretty Sally The diggers came from Bendigo, From Albury the drovers, From where the Goulburn waters flow Came bearded teamsters travelling slow. And all the brown bush rovers; And where the road goes winding still To dropp to Melbourne valley, They sought the shanty by the hill, And ... »

Bright By Clarence Michael James St

Bright By Clarence Michael James St

Bright Where Feathertop frowns thro’ the winter scud, Where Buffalo broods on high, Dwells she, a lass of royal blood, And a sparkle lights her eye The clear, clean glint of the sun on snow, Where the small streams, singing down, Into the golden Ovens flow, To decorate her town. Wild was she o... »

Ballad Of Bopard Defied By Clarence Michael James St

Ballad Of Bopard Defied By Clarence Michael James St

Ballad Of Bopard Defied As I came to a playing-field on happy summer day Two strudy youths I did espy; at cricket they did play. One had the ball, one had the bat, and, with a right good smack, As one tossed up the crimson sphere, the other smote it back. Now, as I reached the bowler’s end, I ... »

Aldermen And Antirrhinum By Clarence Michael James St

Aldermen And Antirrhinum By Clarence Michael James St

Aldermen And Antirrhinum I walked out with an alderman, all on a bright spring day. He was an august alderman, and much had he to say Of roads and drains and bridges …. Then, as he pulled up short, His veins stood out in ridges, his breath fled with a snort. Then anger aldermanic came as the t... »

A Holy War By Clarence Michael James St

A Holy War By Clarence Michael James St

A Holy War ‘Young friend!’ . . . I tries to duck, but miss the bus. ‘E sees me first, an’ ‘as me by the ‘and. ‘Young friend!’ ‘e sez; an’ starts to make a fuss At meetin’ me. ‘Why, this,’ ‘e sez, ‘is grand! Eve... »

A Deep Sea Chantey By Clarence Michael James St

A Deep Sea Chantey By Clarence Michael James St

A Deep Sea Chantey We didn’t like the bo’sun’s mate (Yo, ‘eave ho! an’ a bottle o’ lemonade or somethin’ soft, Miss). Becos ‘is dile filled us wiv ‘ate (Yo, ‘eave ho! An’ a bottle o’ near-beer, or somethin’ that’s re... »

We Mean To Say By Clarence Michael James St

We Mean To Say By Clarence Michael James St

We Mean To Say We mean to say, it never has been granted That anyone but England could decide, In the crease or at the wicket, Just exactly what was cricket And, of course, I mean to say, we have our pride. The great old game was, as it were, invented On the playing fields of Eton, and all that, And... »

The Wobblers By Clarence Michael James St

The Wobblers By Clarence Michael James St

The Wobblers When the scheming Fusion few Sought to snare the Lib’ral crew, It was plain for all to view That they wobbled. And when later in the day They gave liberty away, One might very truly say They were hobbled. Later on, in caucus met, They were wont to fume and fret, And ’tis hin... »

The Roads’ End By Clarence Michael James St

The Roads’ End By Clarence Michael James St

The Roads’ End Old Ben, the pensioner, is going down to die. Huddled in the mail-car, he turns a wistful eye On this familiar forest scene, the wooded mountain wall; And nought could lure him from it save the last stern call. He has loved it with a fierce love no reason comprehends; The great ... »

The Madman By Clarence Michael James St

The Madman By Clarence Michael James St

The Madman ‘I should go mad,’ he said, ‘in such a place! The lack of company, the loneliness! Nothing but trees to stare you in the face; Nothing to do; no life; no pep; no pace! I’d die of melancholy.’ I said ‘Yes?’ ‘Why, yes,’ said he. ‘T... »

The Intro By Clarence Michael James St

The Intro By Clarence Michael James St

The Intro ‘Er name’s Doreen …Well, spare me bloomin’ days! You could er knocked me down wiv ‘arf a brick! Yes, me, that kids meself I know their ways, An’ ‘as a name for smoogin’ in our click! I just lines up ‘an tips the saucy wink. But strike! ... »

The Genesis Of Gloom [australian Variety] By Clarence Michael James St

The Genesis Of Gloom [australian Variety] By Clarence Michael James St

The Genesis Of Gloom [australian Variety] Once upon a time, in days remote, A politician bought a vote. The price he paid is not quite clear, But probably a pot of beer Secured his end. But he got in; So folk excused this venial sin. Now if the thing had stayed right there, We might have dodged a lo... »

The Dinkum Aussie Block By Clarence Michael James St

The Dinkum Aussie Block By Clarence Michael James St

The Dinkum Aussie Block What have we missed? Now he returns no more We are left with but our blindness to deplore, But, concentrating on his spats instead, Missed all the lure of that impressive head. Caricaturists, gazing at his feet, Drew little else, and deemed the sketch complete; Likewise carto... »

The Builders By Clarence Michael James St

The Builders By Clarence Michael James St

The Builders Behold, I built a fowlhouse in my yard! Two months agone the great work was begun, And ev’ry eventide I labored hard, What time my daily office grind was done. ‘Tis to my industry a monument, The fowls, my wife and I are well content. Indeed, I built a fowlhouse. Gods forbid... »

The Anonymous Altruist By Clarence Michael James St

The Anonymous Altruist By Clarence Michael James St

The Anonymous Altruist A mysterious cove in the Customs The boss, so to speak, of the Ban I have blamed a good deal; But I wronged him, I feel, Since I’ve come to imagine the man. When he censored some book that I wanted I sneered at him once, I’ll allow; But, since I’ve given heed... »

Playtime By Clarence Michael James St

Playtime By Clarence Michael James St

Playtime Brothers! (I address myself to that chosen few – which includes you, My dear reader – who Are men of understanding, bright intellect and horse-sense, and to no others). Brothers! There comes one little period in the day When each of us may say, ‘Away! Away with care and th... »

Old Town Types No. 21 – Mr Woolin-Wister By Clarence Michael James St

Old Town Types No. 21 – Mr Woolin-Wister By Clarence Michael James St

Old Town Types No. 21 – Mr Woolin-Wister Mr Woolin-Wister was assistant at the store, He had an air of breeding, and the kind of clothes he wore Were very, very natty and exceedingly correct; For every single day he was habitually decked In the very latest fashion; and he had a roving eye That... »

Mr Fitzmickle Has A Test Match Fright By Clarence Michael James St

Mr Fitzmickle Has A Test Match Fright By Clarence Michael James St

Mr Fitzmickle Has A Test Match Fright Mr Fitzmickle, the martinet, Stern lord of his house and kin, Is a small, bald man, and a cricket fan Since the night he listened in On his young son’s set one winter morn. Now his Test complex grows tireless; But his small, meek wife tends a lonely life, ... »

Last Verse By Clarence Michael James St

Last Verse By Clarence Michael James St

Last Verse Now a stream may be a lady, Or a gentleman serene, Who, by sunlit ways and shady, Graces many a sylvan scene, But that wild, wild woodman, Snowy Crude, uncultured, swift to rage, He’s a hill bloke, flash and showy Roaring down in his rampage…… Hits: 2 »

Inevitable By Clarence Michael James St

Inevitable By Clarence Michael James St

Inevitable At the beginning of the week A strictly rigid path I seek, And vow the only state for me, In finance, is stability; I sternly view all borrowing As an absurd and evil thing. But, as old Time slips by on skids, And, with him sundry ‘bobs’ and ‘quids,’ And my financi... »

Hakim Kahn By Clarence Michael James St

Hakim Kahn By Clarence Michael James St

Hakim Kahn When first I found this forest place More years ago than I can tell, I met a man of alien race And came to know and like him well; A humble hawker, spare and tall, Dark faced, a handsome, bearded man; And often now bush folk recall The kindly smile of Hakim Khan. He plied his trade in way... »

French Leave By Clarence Michael James St

French Leave By Clarence Michael James St

French Leave No longer wilful woman hides Behind a law that over-rides The dicta of her lawful lord and master. And, they who fain would lift a hand To erring wives, now understand That they invite no subsequent disaster. So, be the boss in your own home; And, should a naughty missus roam Unheeding,... »

Doreen By Clarence Michael James St

Doreen By Clarence Michael James St

Doreen ‘I wish’t yeh menat it, Bill.’ Oh, ‘ow me ‘eart Went out to ‘er that evnin’ on the beach. I knew she weren’t no ordinary tart, My little peach! To ‘ear ‘er voice! Its gentle sorter tone, Like soft dream-music of some Dago band. An... »

Conducted Tour By Clarence Michael James St

Conducted Tour By Clarence Michael James St

Conducted Tour Walk up! Walk up to the Bureaucratic Fair! All the tasters and the testers and the tallymen are there. All the freaks and other fancies of the mighty tax machine. A unique conglomeration not believed until it’s seen. Walk up! Walk up to the strangest show on earth! And learn how... »

Bobbie By Clarence Michael James St

Bobbie By Clarence Michael James St

Bobbie Gin you’re gangin’ doon the city Come next Sabbath afternoon, An’ you’ll catch a glimpse o’ Tartan An’ you’ll hear a skirlin’ tune; An’ you’ll see a crowd o’ laddies Lookin’ verra dour an’ staid, Wi’ just here... »

Art Is Long – Hair Is Shorter By Clarence Michael James St

Art Is Long – Hair Is Shorter By Clarence Michael James St

Art Is Long – Hair Is Shorter When artists wore a flowing mane, Then, in a sentimental vein, With pastorals they lured the eye, Or sad, sweet scenes of sea and sky. But now that hair sprouts from the face They chuck their paint about the place And, in the modern manner, seek To baffle one with... »

A War March By Clarence Michael James St

A War March By Clarence Michael James St

A War March Ow! Wow! Wow! (Funeral note sustained by flutes, suggesting a long-bodied, short-legged, large-headed dog in anguish.) Ow! Wow! We are the people who make the row; We are the nation that skites and brags; Marching the goose-step; waving the falgs. Hoch! We talk too much, and we lose our ... »

A Fair Risk By Clarence Michael James St

A Fair Risk By Clarence Michael James St

A Fair Risk Rashly I shot an arrow in the air, And, as my shaft into the zenith sped, I knew ’twas bound to fall some time, somewhere; And wondered if ‘twould dropp upon some head. A certain friend of mine who loitered near Remarked, ‘Don’t let the thing distress you, please.... »

A Ballad For Elderly Kids By Clarence Michael James St

A Ballad For Elderly Kids By Clarence Michael James St

A Ballad For Elderly Kids Now this is the ballad of Jeremy Jones, And likewise of Bobadil Brown, Of the Snooks and the Snaggers and Macs and Malones, And Diggle and Daggle and Down. In fact, ’tis a song of a fatuous throng. Which embraces ‘the man in the street,’ And the bloke on t... »

Waiting By Clarence Michael James St

Waiting By Clarence Michael James St

Waiting Oh, how I love the fine old chap Who sits upon my left at meals, And drops his cabbage, in my lap From swooping fork, while he reveals How he, at Hay, in ’83, Gave Hamlet’s grand so-lil-o-quee. He slops his supper beer o’ nights, Or fills my dexter ear with stout, While str... »

The Traveller By Clarence Michael James St

The Traveller By Clarence Michael James St

The Traveller As I rode in to Burrumbeet, I met a man with funny feet; And, when I paused to ask him why His feet were strange, he rolled his eye And said the rain would spoil the wheat; So I rode on to Burrumbeet. As I rode in to Beetaloo, I met a man whose nose was blue; And when I asked him how h... »

The Oil From Bill Shane By Clarence Michael James St

The Oil From Bill Shane By Clarence Michael James St

The Oil From Bill Shane I got the oil: too right. A cove called Shane. Yes; ole Bill Shane. You’ve ‘eard of ‘im, of course. Big racin’ ‘ead. There’s no need to explain The things he don’t know about a ‘orse. Good ole Bill Shane. They say he’s mad... »

The Long Road Home By Clarence Michael James St

The Long Road Home By Clarence Michael James St

The Long Road Home When I go back from Billy’s place I always have to roam The mazy road, the crazy road that leads the long way home. Ma always says, “Why don’t you come through Mr Donkin’s land? The footbridge track will bring you back.” Ma doesn’t understand. I... »

The Hulk By Clarence Michael James St

The Hulk By Clarence Michael James St

The Hulk Now, ‘ere’s my tip Fer the Fusion ship, An’ I tells it straight an’ square. I’m a rare old tar As nigh an’ far You’ll not meet ev’rywhere. I’ve seen ‘er sail In many a gale, But she’s done ‘er final trip; So I ‘it... »

The Faithless Fantods By Clarence Michael James St

The Faithless Fantods By Clarence Michael James St

The Faithless Fantods Bill Barcoo was a station ‘and – ‘e was a station ‘and, And grafted all the year like Pharaoh’s Jews. But all ‘is pay, I grieve ter say, ‘e blewed – you understand This station ‘and Was drinky in his views; An’ ‘... »

The Crusaders By Clarence Michael James St

The Crusaders By Clarence Michael James St

The Crusaders ‘Peter the ‘Ermit was a ‘oly bloke,’ The parson sez, ‘wot chivvied coves to war.’ ‘Too right,’ I chips. ‘I’ve ‘eard that yarn before.’ ‘Brave knights sprung straight to arms where’er ‘e spoke.R... »

The Blue Kingfisher By Clarence Michael James St

The Blue Kingfisher By Clarence Michael James St

The Blue Kingfisher Where the little river gleaming Thro’ its shadows green and cool Broadens to the quiet dreaming Of a little shady pool; There an azure jewel burning O’er the waters you may spy, Never moving never turning: ‘Tis the silent fisher, Head aloft above the river, With... »

‘Stone The Crows’ By Clarence Michael James St

‘Stone The Crows’ By Clarence Michael James St

‘Stone The Crows’ ‘Why stone the crows!’ ‘e sez. ‘I like ‘er style, But alwiz, some’ow, women ‘ave appeared Set fer to ‘old me orf a ‘arf a mile. I dunno wot’s agin me: p’raps me beard. But, some’ow, when I speak ... »

One Happy Man By Clarence Michael James St

One Happy Man By Clarence Michael James St

One Happy Man Today I met a happy man Greeting the glad new year. About his face the sunbeams ran And danced, as straightaway he began To laugh with right good cheer. His garb was mean, tho’ neat and clean; No scarf, no hat had he. He seemed indeed to be in need And touched by poverty. ‘... »

Old Pete Parraday By Clarence Michael James St

Old Pete Parraday By Clarence Michael James St

Old Pete Parraday Old Pete Paraday, his mind works very slow; But, when it fastens on a thoughts, he will not let it go. He measures it and mumbles it until an answer comes, Just as he mumbles bits and scraps between his toothless gums. ‘I likes to think a bit,’ says he. ‘An’... »

Mallee Wife By Clarence Michael James St

Mallee Wife By Clarence Michael James St

Mallee Wife Home’s best (she said), and the tale Of the hungering soil and the flail Of the sun and the shuddering threat Of the heat, and more heat yet; Of more than a woman can stand, Almost, in that merciless land, With its lifelong, lingering strife, For the Mallee mother and wife. Oh, I&#... »

Jones M.P. By Clarence Michael James St

Jones M.P. By Clarence Michael James St

Jones M.P. It was thus in the beginning: With a sporting chance of winning, Jones contested an election years ago. He was young, enthusiastic, and maintained that measures drastic Were imperative to save the land from Woe. For the laudable admiration of this budding politician, Who with zeal to serv... »

If Cohen Would By Clarence Michael James St

If Cohen Would By Clarence Michael James St

If Cohen Would O, Cohen, hear our song of sentiment! Withdraw thy sordid thoughts from cent. per cent., And, for, the sake of Empire, gentle Yid, Lend us a million quid. If England’s great Financial Houses would Back up our aspirations as they should, If we could influence cold £ s. d. By sent... »